Ah Christmas Eve…you are here. A few final emails to send out before families gather to celebrate whatever it is about this season that makes it special. Whether for religious reasons or just the over commercialization of a fat man in a red suit. For me tonight is mostly about one of my uncles having a few too many red wines and making inappropriate comments. Like how hot the waitresses are at the Tilted Kilt. I guess you get to make these comments when north of 65. Only 30 more years to go for me!
So before we get into the songs (yes I am doing 3…figure knock them all out now) I thought we could learn a bit about what other cultures celebrate for the holidays. That brings us to Krampus, from the Germanic Alps. So this guy comes around with St. Nick and while St. Nick rewards good children with gifts our guy Krampus takes the bad children chucks them in a sack and beats them with a stick! I doubt the NFL would approve of this guy.
Ok so number 5!
Oh Mariah…you were on fire back then! Super red snow suit Mariah. Santa has never been that excited before either! Getting frisky in the snow…you go Santa. She was a good girl I’m sure. What is going on at 1:40? This weird kaleidoscope effect, what is this a Queen video from 1972? I do think this video gives us a glimpse into the psycho level 10 Mariah we would come to know and love in the late 90’s and 2000’s. This video is just all about Mariah, no one else. This is Mariah’s Christmas and she may only want you, but to the victor goes the spoils and she is getting all of the spoils. I do have to give credit to the Love Actually version of this song. Simply for the kid who goes from super happy to super psycho in like 0.2 seconds. You go drummer kid.*
A black Santa! How progressive. Oh boy…we get a naughty elf taking over. Kids aren’t getting gifts anymore, but wait we see the heroes of the day Jam Master Jay, DMC and Rev Run! Now we need to see what they are up to. We are in a park in Queens, and Santa has crashed! A dog for a reindeer? WTF. Oh man, check out that wad Santa is packing. What is Santa slinging on the side to make that kind of dough? I mean he is in Queens in the 1980’s. Maybe Santa is passin’ out that rock! Man…I need that Blazers jacket. Make a note of that for next year. It’s Christmas time in Hollis Queens, Mom’s cookin’ chicken and collard greens. Seriously what a lyric. So quickly on this one…easily the best hip hop Christmas song. The scratching on this was completely innovative and is still completely awesome. I am glad RUN-DMC made this, thank you gents.
FEED THAAAAA WOOORRRRRLLLDDDDDDD! Man it doesn’t get more 80’s than this. Boy George, Sting, George Michael, and BONO! WELLL TONIGHT THANK GOD IT’S THEM INSTEAD OF YOUUUUUUUU! We know that there won’t be snow in Africa this Christmas time (except on the top of Kilimanjaro). The greatest gift they’ll get this year is life….DO THEY KNOW IT’S CHRISTMAS TIME AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!
I had a conversation about this song last weekend. Apparently, my sister and this other guy we were boozing with both said they thought this song was depressing. Bollocks. This is one of the most uplifting tunes of the holiday season. Band Aid is a super human force of 80’s pop that is here to save the world. Period. Show the respect. That’s what I think at least.
*Did you know that psycho drummer kid is Jojen from Game of Thrones? Seriously, his drumming power made him one of the wonder twins. Saving us and Westeros from the white walkers and keeping Bran Stark safe so he can eventually save the universe (at least that is what I am betting on…that or Khaleesi will sick the dragons on him…then it’s all over).